BITS 85 SJM

As I sit in Mumbai at my parents' sipping my first cup of chai after almost a week of spending time just with friends, almost oblivious to the fact that we all have these parallel, responsible lives without families, wanting to write, not knowing where and how to start.

How can you compress almost 30 years of friendship in a few lines? How can you capture that magic where one starts a line and it is completed in everyone's heads and they have started laughing as you start? How can you capture those moments when you know that you would like time to stand still? How can you capture the moment of what you felt as you saw your home of four years after a gap of twenty five, the four being no ordinary ones, but ones where you built the deepest, most lasting relationships, ones that you had no idea would last for a lifetime, ones that you would build upon, ones that you just took off from where you thought you had left off not knowing whether or not you had a chance to reconnect? If not anything, this reunion proved that the relationships run even deeper and if not anything have become way stronger, as well as newer relationships have been built.

Don't get me wrong. We all missed our families and I certainly hope each one was extra nice to them upon getting back. I know that I owe my family big time and have to make up to them in more ways than one.  However, that was to be done for a once in a lifetime event. Life is too short to think about well, maybe we can meet them tomorrow. This would not happen again in Pilani for another twenty five years and it was wonderful that almost two hundred of us made it.

A few months back I wrote about what it was like to get back in touch with my batch mates and saluted them. As I look back to those months and weeks and days of planning and anticipation to the SJM, I had no idea just how difficult it would be to say bye to folks (and I did avoid a lot of goodbyes yesterday - my apologies but that was the only way I could have got through a highly emotional day without falling apart). It didn't matter whether or not there was an occasion to have 1:1 talked, find out what everyone was doing. It didn't matter whether someone was a CEO or a Venture capitalist or a corporate worker. Our relationships surpass those superficial barriers and stay frozen in time.

For several of us, the dream started in Hyderabad, with the Shaadi party and the train ride. The Hyderabad hosts had planned the party meticulously. LV's house made the perfect lunch setting while Jun's restaurant made the perfect setting for the Shaadi party with Saucy's idea of the floral arrangements to go with the theme, as well as the Charminar as a backdrop and typical Hyderabadi food to go with it. Everyone obliged by dressing up for the occassion, even guys who otherwise wouldn't have done so. The dance floor was a super hit but that is where I lost my voice.

Boarding the train the next day was a blast from the past. The gathering at the platform, the look of the train, the loading of bags, the moving of folks from our bogie so we got an entire one to ourselves (thanks Sharat for toiling on that along with Gandhi's charm as well), the snacks that were packed for everyone, all of it was a recipe for a smashing success.

I had no idea what to expect as I started on this journey of SJM planning. It continued into the days in Pilani where I found myself being posed with questions I had never thought would be needed to be answered. It showed the level of engagement and involvement that each one brought in. Some people made every effort to come - international travellers who flew in on Thursday and flew out on Sunday night, those who came for 24 hours or less, it was just very rewarding to see that. I had to use every inch of my reserve to prevent an emotional breakdown at several stages right from the time I met people in Hyderabad to the time I said goodbye to several (even though I avoided many byes), to the number of thank yous and great things said, all of which had my brain trained for emotional restraint for fear that I would be a wreck the entire time in Pilani and I just wanted to laugh the entire time without a care.

The train journey was eventful to say the least. We managed to survive it, and reach Delhi not just in one piece, but smiling away and super excited for the short bus ride to the hotel. I have never been so happy to see a five star hotel with its amenities, and a very clean set of restrooms. I felt civilized for sure. This stretch was an emotional challenge meeting folks as they opened the mementos.

The party that evening was a blast. Of course, the organized games did not go on track as planned, especially because managing a 150 strong 45+ year old crowd is far from easy. It did not matter in the least bit because folks did break the ice and then the DJ was awesome with a slideshow running continually in the background for effect :) The dancing, energy and buzz at the party was simply fantastic.

The warnings that buses were leaving did pay off. The buses were loaded on time. It is challenging to get such a large crowd (almost 200) ready and boarded on time but it was extremely helpful that at every step of the way people were such good sports.

The bus journey together did set the stage, even though the party before that was fantastic. Riding in the bus with your friends, checking out the sights, laughing and talking, counting down the miles till the last few minutes, when we burst into our anthem song for the reunion, "Pyaar Hume....", it was as though the dream had indeed started coming true.

When we entered campus together, it was as though our brains are trained to act like 18-20 year olds. We broke several rules, we had a lot of fun, we felt very young again, we might have done some crazy things. But we also played basketball games, we went for a 5K walk/run and we visited the temple.

Starting from the party in Delhi (and for more than 60 of us, the party in Hyderabad) to the time we bade goodbye at the Radisson in Delhi, it was a treat which we all seemed to deserve - leaving aside all the baggage we carry day to day whether at work or home in our respective lives with a million issues we deal with on a daily basis, this was a complete break-away from it all.

Yes, we were building up to the event, yes we had been planning it for months, yes we knew we would have a blast, but no amount of planning could prepare us for the range of emotions that engulfed us for that period of time together. It was way beyond my comprehension. I laughed so hard and for such long periods of time and right through for so many days, it made up for any laughs I may have really yearned for through those missing years.

Yes, there were periods of frustration, not exactly frustrations but patience limits, while planning for the SJM. We knew it would all be worth it and the 85 batch did not let us down. Everyone was simply amazing - the level of participation at each event just blew me away - everyone was either playing the basketball game, or was in the stands as a spectator, almost a hundred folks woke up and showed up at 7 a.m. for the 5K walk/run after karaoking the night away till the wee hours of the morning, almost everyone showed up and participated by talking to the current students, almost everyone sang and took part in the music nite festivities with our star performers.

Yes, I know I missed a couple of my closest friends who did not make it and that would have made the reunion absolutely perfect but life is full of imperfections and will continue to be that way.

Venu organized a tea/coffee stall with Cafe Coffee day which was a fantastic treat for all. The local kitchen made chai whenever we wanted some.

Alagu, thanks to his company, Blue Jeans and their technology, live streamed two of the events - the faculty felicitation and the music nite. It was a fantastic way to engage those who couldn't make it physically and they felt really good about the participation as well.

Frozen in time is a double edged sword - it is an extremely emotional moment to come to Meera Bhavan and see that the facade looks just the same, that when one goes to climb the stairs to one's first year room, one sees the concrete steps with cracks and dents in the exact same spots, one sees the same colours. The downside is that one feels really sad that the current students don't have better living arrangements in spite of the enormity of the fees. The temple frozen in time was a good thing - to feel that cold marble under one's feet, to look out to the institute (which probably looks best from that distance),

We weren't listening to the peacocks, we were so busy sharing laughs with each other, that I have no idea if they still screech like crazy at 3 a.m. The roads look the same more or less, the institute building and Cannaught looked the same more or less (other than hoardings for Airtel and Vodafone, etc). In terms of visiting our favorite haunts or doing our most memorable things, it wasn't quite possible, as someone said too much to do with too little time on hand. It didn't matter because the people who mattered were there.

The first BITS girls' basketball team (85) got to play with the current students. The 5K walk/run marked a milestone in participation and in the increase in tolerance levels on campus with accommodating girls for such events. Bhattu led a post run stretch with professional ease. The karaoke night had many folks participating, whether it was Bollywood numbers or classic rock. We got to hang out in Sky, eat paneer maggi and drink milkshakes at Blue Moon, eat Nagarji's rabadi (though I suspect it did impact my digestion), eat the Sunday special lunch at the RPA mess, interact with the students in more ways that one, eat some really delicious meals at the guest house and have fun to our hearts' content.

Many folks had talked about the new institute, which was as beautiful as we had seen the pictures to be. We had the faculty felicitation there. We also walked through, with several of us sitting through classes. We had a live streaming of the event in that beautiful auditorium.

Upon our return to Delhi, I must admit that the very hotel lobby that I had thought was brilliant after the train ride seemed so mundane and sterile and too civilized. It felt like - why can't I break through these shackles? Oh well, reality had to be faced.

At least four people asked me the origin of my nickname - it was rather amusing because the perception was very different from reality and it was quite a revelation to me as well. It was great that people asked even if it took them 29 years to do so - showed me the comfort level :)

There are several people to thank to make this all come together, whether in front of or behind the scenes (in no particular order). I will try to list them all and if I inadvertently miss your name, please excuse me.

- SDG aka Sanju
- Arvi
- Bala
- Muthu
- Rajesh
- Ranjan
- Papa
- LV
- Manas
- Blow
- Vijay Anand
- Spy
- Vochak
- Terry
- Alagu
- Venu Madhav

Several of you came forth with their own strengths - you all have a range of talents and it is that rainbow of diversity that makes it such a special event. The biggest thank you though is to all of you. Without the participants with your level of enthusiasm, all the planning in the world can be rendered useless.

Of course, there were a couple of mistakes. Mistakes are bound to happen. Things cannot be 100% perfect. But you all went with the flow. You forgave us those couple of things (we will make up for the same) and you all provided us our laughs.

Lastly, I want to mention the unity and support that our batch has shown towards Seema Sood's cause for the BITS 85 Helping Hands fund.  We received cheques and cash (both in INR and USD) during the time there. Almost everyone took a pledge to donate generously for the cause by picking up a cap. It would be very useful for us to actually know how much each of you is pledging - it is private - as in not known to the rest of the batch, just three of us working on the drive. So if you haven't done so already, please go to the pledge form.  There are those who had to cancel their registrations at the last minute who just gave the entire amounts to the fund whether it was Rs. 20,000 or Rs. 35,000.

Several new relationships were formed, while existing ones strengthened. As someone remarked, we have all gone back with a range of emotions, but mostly lots of happiness at having reconnected at one of our favorite places on earth. If we could just bottle up all those memories and get them out when we need them the most, that would be fantastic, wouldn't it?

With that thought in mind, I certainly hope we can all get together in Goa in 2020. You are all special people in my life!