The Journey that started in 1985

Way back in August of 1985, when we were carefree and didn't know what we wanted to really do, but wanted to go to a really good engineering school, no matter how expensive for the time, because of its reputation, we took the risk of staying in the middle of the Thar desert where there was nothing but a village, and no civilization so to speak of other than this great institution, we had no clue what we were getting into. Little did we also realize that the place helped make us for who we are today for better or worse, helped us build life long, extremely strong ties and helped us connect with each other in a way that nobody outside of our world can truly penetrate. 

We are kind of snooty about that, not in a bad sense, but it is like our magical, private world that transcends genders, ages, and cultural identities. During those four years, we laughed together, we cried together, we formed relationships, we celebrated together, tried to study together (or pretended to), fell sick together without a care in the world, biked and walked and ran together, played basketball together, giggled about silly things, shared silly stories, enjoyed the heat and the cold of the desert, gave each other nicknames that stuck through life and are so funny, and much more. There was nothing else in that place and we just hung out together. There was one phone for all the girls - about 200 of us - and a post office that was far enough that we had to cycle, we couldn't walk it - and the letters would take three weeks to get to Bombay to my family. There was no other means of communication, but we didn't miss it because we didn't know any better. Simple lives, especially now when, on the same campus, each student probably has a smart phone.

We finished our bachelor's anywhere between 1989-1991 with no promises of meeting, keeping in touch, etc other than with our immediate close knit circles of friends. This close group of friends and I would call, write letters and we knew of each others whereabouts. We were still in India for the first couple of years. The rest of the folks, if we happened to meet, if we happened to see, and nobody seemed interested in going that extra mile.

We each went our ways, pretty soon spreading our wings across the globe, not just various parts of India. Some were in touch, some weren't. Several memories started to blur, and soon fade away, but what remained with us were always the wonderful times we had together. Those bonds that ran so deep that we would immediately be like - oh, are you from BITS? and that was all it took. A few years later, the email system arrived in India, soon the internet started growing all over the world. During which time, we were still pretty much in touch with just our immediate friends, whether meeting, or calling, each busy with their lives in getting married, or having and raising children, or studying further, with no time to reminisce. 

As time went on, and the internet became powerful, we slowly started hearing about more people, successes, where they were, what they were doing, etc. Soon, this application called Facebook appeared from nowhere that transformed the way we looked at the world. Pretty soon, people started surfacing. Folks one hadn't heard of or from in 15 years or 20 years. Well, one just accepted the friendships and took off from there. Some folks one remembered, some one didn't and the brain cells tried connecting the dots through one's memories, through another friends. It didn't matter because we had that strong connection. Before we knew it, Facebook had become a virtual campus. We were having the same chats, sharing things, teasing each other, and having so much fun, but within social norms in a "public" forum.

Now, what we didn't know is our institute had initiated this reunion called as an SJM (Silver Jubilee Meet), to comomerate 25 years since we graduated. We started hearing rumblings of the same from our seniors. I remember when I first heard of it 4 years back, I thought, oh, that is too much trouble, it doesn't seem worth it, etc. As the years started approaching towards our SJM, the excitement started to take shape. After all, who would miss this once in a lifetime opportunity to go to campus and hang out with those friends who have been one's lifetime support? Oh, but wait. Not all of them were my friends. Does it really matter? Did you want to take the trouble to travel 10,000 miles to see folks that live in the vicinity, that you haven't really been in touch with, that you didn't really hang out with, etc, etc. So many questions that everybody was evaluating. 

The big picture was that we were all really delighted to be back in touch, that we were all waiting for an opportunity to go back to that hole in the wall place, to our beautiful campus, to just hang out and do nothing for a couple of days, to celebrate the place where those connections started. Who wouldn't want to do that? And so began the quest for getting us all together to get to the reunion. I must admit, when I first said I would help locate people, that I would help out, I didn't realize what was involved, and what I would sign up to do eventually. It became more and more addictive, more and more connected and has come to a point where people are really counting down.

In the midst of this, one of our friends, who refuses to be on Facebook decided to start a chat group. The beauty of the chat group is that it transcends geographical boundaries. It started out as just a joke group. Bit by bit, people ventured into other topics, from here to there to everywhere. Soon, more and more folks joined the chat forums. The topics ranged from philosophical to general rubbish to jokes to serious questions. People slowly started to rediscover these adults whom they had fooled around with on campus. They started discovering what people had been doing for the past 25 years. It didn't matter if someone had made millions while others didn't. It didn't matter whether someone had a bigger house or more time on hand or their own businesses. We started appreciating each other, respecting each other for who he/she is, accepting each other as mature individuals, wanted to get to know each other's families, and started a new-found bonding experience. We started advising each other on health matters but in a way that gave individuals their space, their individuality, their opinions, we began supporting each other across the globe, virtually in ways that would never have existed. This virtual energy has been felt everywhere.

It has grown our relationships, connections and friendships in ways we could never have imagined. Even the worst cynic would have to change his/her opinion about the chat groups, about what it has transformed into and what it has to offer each of us. 

This, my friends, is a tribute to each of you, to have gone above and beyond in making these connections happen. I hope we can spread the energy so that as many people as can benefit will show up in October to reenergize and show our children the depth of true relationships! The journey continues...