The Cherished Half

I used to be oh so snooty - oh, that's just a half; oh, no way - you cannot compare a half to a full (that I think is still true). Oh, I haven't counted how many halfs I have run. Those don't matter as much anymore. Boy, was I sorry I ever made any of those statements. Given that I was at a stage where I was barely walking, then barely jogging a mile, I had no face to say any of these. I was attempting my first half marathon in two years and it really counted. By now, I almost always wear my Vibrams, and even though I have the Bikila which is just for running, I decided to use the general purpose Vibrams because I had used those on a trail before. Today was destined to be a gorgeous day. The weather seemed perfect. I had picked the same trail half that I had hobbled through two years ago. I knew it was tough. I also knew that I hadn't exactly trained for a half but given all my conditioning, it would be fine. There was a period when I thought I might not do it. My daughter had water polo games yesterday and today. My husband refused to opt out of his cricket game which meant that I had to take her and I had got admission to participate in a really cool ed-tech event over a weekend - they had liked my application. Such big decisions. But I had really looked forward to this. So, I organized a carpool in the morning for my daughter. My parents were home so I knew I didn't have to worry about my son's routine, particularly his food (his restrictive diet continues). I declined the invitation to the ed tech event. And off I went, listening to Pt. Shivkumar Sharma on the way, putting me in a great frame of mind. The fog was still out. That meant the park might be a little chilly which actually works well when one gets hot. As I went to get my bib, I bumped into a co-worker. What a pleasant surprise to see a familiar face! She was off to do the 5K but we got pictures of each other, together. I picked up my t-shirt, went to the car to drop off everything and came back to find quite a line for the restroom. Turns out there was no bathroom along the course, so I decided to make a dash for it before the start. Following is a picture my coworker took of me before the start.

The announcements started a little before the race. They were warning people to stay on course, that it was marked, that if we reached a road, we had gone off course. Then they said that it was longer than 13.1 - it was 13.24. They also went onto add that for those people for whom it was their first trail race or their first half, it gave them bragging rights as this was a really tough course. At that point I was sure I must have been crazy to sign up for this race as my first big one in two years. But since I had knowingly signed up to be crazy, I went ahead with the plan. At 8 a.m. sharp, the race took off. I remembered the first stretch being super steep. And sure enough, within .2 miles we were facing the first steep slope. There was hardly anyone running this. The incline continues almost without respite for the first three miles. It is brutal and puts even the first hill of the Dish to shame. This picture is shows how everyone is actually walking.

Thus we trudged on. Everyone seemed in good spirits. I felt like maybe I will keep with the bulk of the crowd. That kind of vanished by mile 7. But to me the goal was finishing the half, not the time. This time was different from two years ago. Not only did I have a phone that took good pictures, the chip was just a piece of something attached to the bib. That was how outdated I felt. After working really hard for 21 minutes, I saw the first mile marker! Oh my! That meant if I continued at this pace, even if I didn't worry about the time, it would take me 260 minutes at the least. Could I do it? Oh, why was I so foolish to try and do this again? Never mind, just keep going! At some stretches on the incline, the path was extremely narrow, barely adequate for one person to go through but everyone seemed to manage just fine. The really good thing about the trail - it was through the California redwoods, which are amongst some of the most majestic trees in the world. They are beautiful and no matter how often I might have seen redwoods, the trunk shapes are always fascinating. It is just like when I see the Himalayas, I could keep looking at their grandeur. Here's a picture between miles 3 and 4 of some redwoods.

Both mile 2 and 3 seemed to take 21 minutes each. It was disheartening in a way. Is this how it is going to be all the way to the end? Should I just turn back here? But I wasn't there to get disheartened. In the meantime, I had also been texting my daughter to make sure she was alright and was ready for her pick up - thank goodness for some wonderful parent carpools. Just as I thought the worst of the inclines were done, I saw one of the steepest stretches. This picture gives an idea somewhat of one of the three that came almost in succession.

As visible from this picture, by now, the crowd had gone on ahead. I knew I wasn't the last. This particular person seemed to be hounding me and when we came to the point where it seemed like he really wanted to go on, I asked him if he wanted to pass. There seemed to be an almost equal number of men and women which was great. Sometimes though, in recent years, there appear to be more women than men, which I thought was great. It was only after mile 4 that I felt like I was actually even attempting to run. Every now and then there would be stretches of downhill or flat - not long stretches but just enough to break out into a jog from the walking strides. One of the main reasons I even picked this race was because it is run by Brazen Racing. I really like many aspects about the races that they organize. Despite the fact that the trail is so narrow and several parts of it cannot be accessed, they try and have as many aid stations as possible. At the aid stations, not only is there water, there are sports drinks, sliced oranges, bananas and a ton of snacks to choose from. I stuck to just orange slices and water but the availability of it all is awesome. Not just that, almost all the participants have excellent trail manners - when to give way, when to overtake, how to acknowledge, and they all greet and wish as they pass the trailers like me on the way, unlike these big races where participants seem to only cheer/wish folks who belong to their training teams. The atmosphere of these races is very positive, high energy and happy. There is hardly anyone on the trails who is grouchy or doesn't wish nicely, including the aid station volunteers who are really awesome. Additionally, at the end of these races, they have the most delicious treats awaiting the runners after their hard work. Today, my favorite thing was this cheesecake, so delicious, it just melted. By mile 6, it seemed like almost everyone was way ahead of me. Most of them had passed me on this loop where we had to run both ways. Our bibs had our first names printed in bold. So some of them were really nice and called out by my name, saying nice job. All along, I kept worrying about my feet in my Vibrams too. Would they hold out? Would I have pain after? How will my toes do? The reason is because I often have pain in my longest toes. What I did find out though was that the toes do have a mind of their own on the trails and one has to be ultra careful or suffer a fall like I did between miles 10 and 11. For a moment I was stunned - how could I fall? I had put out one hand (my right of course, the dominant) to take the impact of the fall. So my head was fine. However, my right knee is pretty badly bruised. It went through my running tights. My right hand has a few bruises, and my Nike fuel belt, has a deep cut on one side. It could have been worse. It took me a couple of minutes to gather myself and continue. I just hope tomorrow morning the knee is not extra painful. However, the Vibrams did do their job. They held out through the race. By mile 9, I was still at about 20-21 minutes a mile, even though I thought I was going a little faster. Just a perception. I knew I didn't have a problem finishing. I was getting a little tired, but just a little. More than tired, I think it was thirst. The sun had come out early in the day and even though the Redwoods provided a good cover, it felt hot. My throat and lips felt dry frequently. So the aid stops were a real blessing. While going through the woods, at this point, it seemed as though one were passing through an air-conditioned room. The feeling of comfort and relief was really high at these times. All along, I kept mentally pushing myself. The entire race seemed to have been completed on will power. I had decided I was going to do it and I was going to do it no matter what. I would take my time because I wasn't going to do something foolish and erase months worth of real hard work to get myself moving, as well as I would enjoy the show. Thus the multiple photos. I had to enjoy the beauty around. Between miles 7 and 10 were probably some of my best moments. I was not the last but I was way behind the pack. As a result, it seemed like I had the trail to myself with this cool breeze, the sounds of the birds, the silence and peace in the air and time for me to think. If only I had recorded on a video, you would have got to hear the sounds of the birds. It was the safest I have ever felt on a trail. I knew I wasn't lost, that even though I was alone on the trail at that stretch, it was safe because people were not far and I wouldn't be lost. What a way to spend the day! I am so grateful to get to experience this and for the fact that I am able to do so again, kind of like being reborn. Between miles 9 and 10, I stopped to take a picture of this flower. It was different from all the other wildflowers I have seen on the trails, really small but lovely yellow.

I talked about the fall above. It took me a couple of minutes but after that I just took off like I hadn't the entire race. My last two miles were down to 16 minutes from 21. The redwoods continued to fascinate. The aid station crews were waiting patiently until the very last runner which was a while. I made sure to thank them profusely each time. After all, they are only volunteers. After mile 12, the trail opened up into the sun. I couldn't have asked for something more beautiful. Mustard-like tall rushes with several large butterflies flying freely, the sun shining through a clear, blue sky. It was absolutely marvelous. This picture can only capture a fraction of that.

In the meantime, between miles 12 and 13, I crossed someone trying to finish her race. I had to urge her on and I did see her finish not long after I did. The last 1.2 miles were painless. It was great to finish. I am just very grateful that I could do it, that I tried it, that I willed myself to finishing the race. I am glad I sat and enjoyed the cheesecake though, because I then drove home, showered and left right after for my hour+ drive to my daughter's second game. And of course, now I am thinking - I can get myself to train for a marathon, provided I keep doing these peripheral fitness routines, to keep my upper body and feet strong. Here's a picture of me at the finish line and a picture at the end of my feet in the Vibrams. You can see the dirt on my right foot from the fall. Well, here's till the next one!

p.s. Incidentally, I use my Vibrams for my Zumba and they work just fine (as do my feet).

Never say Never Again

The story goes back to two years ago when my foot first started hurting. Ignore it I did. Oh, it will go away. My running had become sporadic though and my weight had started its increase, not that I was ever thin after my children were born. I went to the running store when my cousin was visiting from India, talked to the sales person about my pain. She said it sounded like the beginnings of plantar fasciitis - I had no clue and had to look it up. But gave me a few options. I settled for the Strasbourg sock which I wore pretty regularly for about a month until I left for Hongkong first, and then India, at which point I hardly used it. I couldn't bear the thought of wearing a sock and sleeping in that heat. I still continued running off and on, thinking, oh, if I give it a rest for one or two days, it seems fine thereafter. Came back only to find that I couldn't stand for as long as I was used to and needed to in order to perform my job the way that I thought was effective. At one point, two of my co-workers (out of concern for my feet, not otherwise), said I should just forget it, that my running days are over and that I should just stop because they would see me limping and hobbling down the hallway. Oh, well, stubborn as I was, I wasn't going to take no for an answer. Finally, after two stretches where I hadn't run for three weeks but still had throbbing pain the day I did some activity, not even running, I decided that I had to see the doctor. By this time it had been six months at least. How very foolish - but I didn't know that. Anyway, I went through wearing a boot, went through this ultrasound treatment - electrodes that penetrate deep into your tissue and it hurts like crazy - three minutes seem like a lifetime. When I asked the intern about whether they have had people screaming, she responded in the affirmative and also stated that invariably, it is the men who do so. Talk of pain tolerance of the stronger sex! Anyway, nothing seemed to work. I had tried swimming, bought this contraption that keeps you afloat and helps you run in the water. I could do the elliptical. However, none of them appealed to me. After all, running is something I have enjoyed since I was ten years old. That feeling cannot be replaced by some other activity (for the past two months, I have been doing zumba and much as I enjoy it, it is no replacement for running in my mind). However, why didn't it work? They said at the doctor's office that it would take at least three months after the ultrasound treatment. So I decided to wait despite the bumps. By now, all thought of running had vanished. If I could walk well I would be happy. If I didn't have to sit down so often during the day, that would be great. However, that didn't do it either. I had worn only running shoes all the time at work, outside, everywhere, with the recommended insoles. Then one of my closest college friends recommended something called "flit flops". I looked it up - they were only available at a specific department store. When I went there, the salesman was very nice, asked me why, what the problem was, etc and then recommended these clogs made by "Dansko". I bought them hesitantly. They were as expensive as my running shoes, seemed kind of oddly fitting. But I took his advice and am I glad I did. That was the turning point in terms of how my feet felt. I wore only those shoes thereafter and my feet started feeling better only after that. Well, but I didn't start running yet. And boy, was I scared that the same thing would happen. One day, this good friend of mine who is an ultramarathoner saw some update from me and called me. That 3 minute conversation gave me the pep I needed and I dedicated today's run to him. He suggested a few places and said - just get out there - even if you walk a mile, or around the block. I decided to try it out thereafter. Still not regularly, nor with a routine, but oh, well, it was a start. I was starting a new job, it was exciting and there was so much I wanted to do. That plus the Master's program I had started in winter took precedence and everything else took a back seat. I still didn't think I had found the capacity to run the distance I would like to. By December 2012, I was disgusted with myself. I had never weighed so much, never felt so bloated or weird, felt horribly out of shape and decided I had to do something about it. I first started with a change in my food habits. That worked initially and I lost a few pounds. I was still scared to run because I thought this weight would cause more foot problems. Then came the big changer. The same month, my husband bought me a Nike+Fuel Belt. I am never one to wear contraptions when I run - I want to enjoy the fresh air, the sounds, the smells, the nature around. But when he had asked me for about the fifth time if I had set up the Fuel Belt, I decided I had to. That was another turning point. Once I had set it up, I had to get to a certain minimum level. On my son's birthday on Jan 3rd, the kids bought this "Just Dance 4" on the Wii. I have never considered myself to be a dancer and dance I don't but I do try and keep up with the moves. So I realized I was pushing my body beyond its comfort zone. That also helped me get lots of points on the Fuel Belt. Pretty soon, it became an obsession and anytime I had a few minutes, I would do a song. That meant activity instead of just putting my feet up. And I kept pushing myself further and further. In the past six months I have lost 22 pounds. The other thing I was determined to do - run at least one mile everyday. It didn't matter to me if I ran just a mile. I just had to do it. So I went all out to achieve that mile, even if it meant squishing it in between making lunches and showering to leave for work in the morning. If it meant a walk run, but I should have run at least a mile, that was fine. So, I started doing between 1.5 - 3 miles every day, 3 miles being more of an exception. During the process, one of my coworkers had inspired me to run the local 8K race. I figured I hadn't run 8K in my runs but it was doable with all my other activity. So in March, I ran my first race in almost two years. The problem was that the gym had fallen off my radar with my class schedule. Getting up at 3 was becoming harder. 4 was happening but that didn't give me enough time to work and then get over an hour at the gym, in order to be back home by 6. So in April, I made the decision to join a gym that wasn't open before 5 but is like around the corner from our house, where I have added my children. So that way I take my son, so he also gets to exercise and I got to try out all these zumba classes. All of which got me excellent upper body workout and helped with my stamina, while also helping me lose weight. The net result with all these changes - I was feeling so much better and even fitter than when I was running regularly. I also brought about a change in my shoes. I had decided to buy these Vibrams on a whim last year but hadn't used them a whole lot. In April, I started using them more regularly, started really liking them, and, in fact, when I used my regular Mizunos, they seemed bulky and weird. Also, I tend to really push my limits. So I really pushed my limits as far attaining the fuel goal was concerned. That really seems to be paying off. With all of these changes, I ran my first half marathon today in two years. That account is in the next entry.

What a Run Adventure - June 10, 2013

Having experienced a long stretch of time when I would fear each step I trod, this new feeling of good, happy feet is like being unleashed after being imprisoned for a period of time. That being said, in the midst of juggling daily work life, kids' and husband's schedules, trying to reach my daily fitness goal is a challenge. However, I have been sacrificing other things rather than my daily workouts and it makes me much happier as a result, not withstanding the fact that I did shed pounds these last five months after starting to wear my Nike+Fuel belt. Most days I have to be satisfied with a treadmill run because that will be the only way I can get my 12 year old to do any exercise walk to the gym together, he will do his thing, I will run on the treadmill, he will go back home when he is done and I will continue with lots of stuff. Such has been our routine these past 2.5 months. School ended over a week back but I was time bound last week. This week, despite of classes and assignments and children's drop offs/pick ups, I have way more flexibility. So I thought, why not utilize it well by running outside? Park the car in the parking lot where my 12 year old is at summer school, go run and come back in time to pick him up. So, I parked the car, thrilled at all the empty spaces and the freedom to get a trail run in . The day had started out a little chilly and, in fact, I was contemplating getting a light jacket on my way, then deciding that I didn't want to lug it around for the sake of those first few minutes. I don't think I really run any more, just jog, maybe a little more than that but the mental feeling of running is strong. Once I started, it was a heady feeling - the weather was almost perfect, there was nobody on the trail, and I had plenty of time on hand. More than half way down the trail, I encountered person#1. We "hi'd" each other and within seconds, I saw this thing slithering right across the trail. Such a big guy (more than four feet long) that he had occupied almost the entire width of the trail. I was startled for the first fraction of a second. My next - get out the phone and take a shot. Then realizing that this creature really was crossing and wasn't coming toward me, I figured, why not zoom in? So I did, happy with the quality of the photo decided to wait a bit till there was more than a teeny bit of clear trail and started on, thinking to myself - well, this guy that I met didn't indicate in any way to me that he had seen this snake. Either he jumped over it, or really didn't see it - either way it was weird. I didn't move on before taking a photo. Went on to meet three other people and let them know that there was this snake a little further down. They thanked me and I went on. Off I then went on the trail branching off - a newer trail that opened maybe three years back. It is almost always deserted. And sure enough, not only was it deserted, there was this cool wind and perfect temperature that added a touch of bliss while running uphill on this trail. Got to see some beautiful landscapes as you can get rolling views of the bay as well as the hills on the other side. At every step though now I thought I might encounter a snake or a mountain lion that would suddenly pounce at me through the high reeds. I was really relieved to see the horses and some tar, knowing that I was reaching the end of this beautiful but secluded trail. I still had some time so thought I would take the longer way around back to the high school. Part of the route involved running along a highway. It being a Monday, I figured I could run in the bike lane as I hadn't seen any bicyclists riding for pleasure that morning - everyone must be at work. At my very first signal stop where I could cross and then safely run along a walk/run trail on the footpath, I encountered a bicyclist who was exercising on his lunch break. We greeted each other. I was stretching during the wait. At one point I was bending down when he said aloud "Oh, deer!" I heard "Oh, dear!" I looked up to see that he was actually talking about a real deer - it was bizarre - like out of the movies. This deer came bounding out of nowhere, then was about to cross this busy highway just as the signal turned green for those turning left to go along the same direction the deer was heading. The two of us literally watched with bated breathe fearing the deer's safety. He said aloud, "Not a good time for the deer to be crossing the road." The driver of the first car turning left was so busy staring at us who were staring at the deer that she didn't see the deer. I yelled aloud "She is going to kill the deer". And just as we thought we were about to witness her hitting the deer, she turned her head and realized what was a about to happen. That fraction of a second was enough for the deer to run to safety on the other side of the street while she decided to apply her brakes. I think this cyclist and I only breathed after we saw the deer go across unharmed. Hopefully, it made it across fine to its usual surroundings in the hills. Needless, to say the distance that remained between that point and the high school was run with fear, not knowing what might come about next. Fortunately, nothing unusual transpired. I was able to reach the parking lot safely, still hoping that the deer had indeed made it and wondering what would have happened if I had stepped on the snake. At the end of it though, I ran about 7 miles, don't feel like I did and am ready for a treadmill round when I take my son to the gym for a couple more miles. Oh, what a good feeling! p.s. In the attached collage, the bottom picture is that of the deserted trail, with the trail literally giving the impression of climbing the stairway to heaven!

Friday Afternoon - published on fb on Feb 8, 2013

Having now gorged on a yummmm carrot-tomato-orange salad which in my mind tastes exactly like my mother and my grandmother made, feet feeling a nice tired and a body which will deserve to rest early, having been inspired to write after a long time, thought I would share what made it so worthwhile. Normally, I am exhausted by Friday afternoons, just want to go home and rest. This afternoon was not far from the same; in fact, this morning, while in a fourth grade class, one of the students asked me, "Are you feeling tired or stressed?" She then went on to state, "It cannot be stress because you get paid to do such a cool job. My father also has a cool job. He gets paid to test games". I told her that I did indeed love my job and that it truly was fun and that I was just tired. However, this afternoon, I was determined to work out, having missed my workout this morning. Now, with my weird schedule, taking classes two week nights, and my bedtime extended beyond what I was earlier used to, even though I am up really early for most people, it isn't early enough that I can go to the gym and be back to have my children's hot lunches prepared. Those of you who know me, know just how obsessed I am with children's nutrition, particularly given one of my children's history. So, anyway, since January I got hooked onto Just Dance 4 on the Wii, and do that sort of as a consolation prize. I can have food cooking, wake up my younger one, make my tea in between the songs and still feel like I get a good workout. I never ever imagined I would be saying this one day. All this so that I can lose some more weight before I start seriously running again. Even though I woke up at 3:30 this morning, I decided to skip my workout because I had too much work that I wanted to complete before I went into school. I was tired and, like most Fridays after school, I would have come home and just plonked and done something brainless. However, because I was determined - oh, and one of the main reasons for that determination was the Nike fuel belt that I started using about two weeks ago. It has been instrumental in ensuring that I keep to a certain activity level. I like that because it is a a challenge and I love challenges. This afternoon my fuel belt was still on red/orange after school and that was not a good sign. This, despite the fact that I had walked around quite a bit all morning on campus. So, off I went to the gym after school. I really missed my 4 a.m. gym friends. It was too crowded as well but those were just excuses. I decided I couldn't go outdoors since my nose has been feeling like spring and my sneezes won't stop. I got a really good workout and felt truly reinvigorated thereafter, so much so that when I got back home, my hubby asked me to go and buy some greens and I wasn't like - "Can you go?", etc. He happened to be home because he is transitioning jobs and I have had the luxury of having him cook the last two days. Today, the salads were cut and I just had to garnish them, but I did. Not just that, but after returning from the store, my fuel belt still needed more pumping. So I put in some "Just Dance4". Now I am almost at my goal but know that I will more than surpass it by the time I sleep. I am feeling so much better that I wonder why I haven't thought of doing this before on a Friday afternoon. It will be a great way to celebrate the end of a working week! Now, if only I can start running the miles again....

Just a Matter of the Mind - published on fb on Jan 17, 2012

"Brrrr!" I thought in my head as I looked up the temperature at 4 a.m. - it was 30 degrees Farenheit in Palo Alto. It didn't deter me from getting my workout gear and heading to the gym. Given that I never thought twice about running outside when it was 35 degrees, this was really easy in comparison in terms of getting my mind ready. Bracing myself through the five minute drive which isn't an adequate distance to truly kick in the heat, I was all set. After all, I had missed working out three days in a row. As I greeted two of my early morning friends upon entering the gym, one of them piped up, "Hey, the heater for the pool is broken. I went in there yesterday and it was freezing." My instinct was to head right back to the car, go home get some work in or just snuggle back up in my covers. She then added, "Well, you could use the jacuzzi and sauna". Given that I had come all the way, that I am really constrained in my workouts with my still-injured foot, I decided to check out the hot tub. The wet area was deserted. I had to warm up my mind while I could dare step into the water. After a few minutes in the jacuzzi, I gingerly put one toe in the pool. "No way", shouted a voice in my head. So back I went to the steaming tub. Another minute of dithering while a voice said to me I was a wimp. I certainly wasn't going to buy into that. So without further thought, I plunged right into the unheated pool. Surprisingly, it didn't feel as cold as I had earlier thought. The trick was to dive right in without thinking too much about it I guess. Thrilled to have finished my warm up laps, I put on my aqua jogging belt, which is my only saving grace while I bide my time to get back to real running, I completed my aqua workout convincing myself that I had burned more calories this way (in the icy waters). While in the pool, I had to encourage two more of my friends to just get in. They did. We all feel way better after the workout and I am extremely satisfied at my decision to have completed my workout this morning.